Forgot the seven-year-old story. When Catherine was 5 ("I remember when she was five!" interjected Bob Crabbe, the leader of the Coventry Carolers and teacher of the Songs of the Times and Season workshop.), her kindergarten class was singing "Jingle Bells," what most American children think of as the whole song (seriously, a lot of people don't even know the first verse, just the repeated couplet that makes up the chorus). "Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh!" everyone sang. Catherine continued "A day or two ago/I thought I'd take a ride/and soon Miss Fan--" she sang, singing right out in the way she used to and usually still does. She trailed off when she noticed she was the only one, and her teacher said "What are you singing?"

"The second verse," said Catherine.

After I told the story, she grinned, and Bob gave her a hug and said "Thank you!"

* Primed 110 Arcane Legions figures yesterday (Han Infantry and Cavalry and Egyptian Infantry and Cavalry) while doing other things. I have Roman Infantry and Cavalry today and the main box of 120 infantry (40 of each group).
* I also want to prime the figures from the French wuxia board game, Ghost Stories, which I have yet to play, but looks like INCREDIBLE fun.
* rougewench hooked up the new region-free Phillips DVD players (the DVP 3140) that she and I got for our birthdays. It is a thing of beauty and I can finally watch the Region 2 DVD of "Capitan Alatriste" (or any HK cinema in their native format) on a regular TV, either in my room or downstairs. Sweet!
* Re-watched "Arrival", the first episode of the original Prisoner.
* Re-watched five or six episodes of the first season of "The West Wing" with arkhamrefugee, who'd seen some of the show before, but not in sequence. We stopped right after "Lord John Marbury". I told him I wouldn't re-watch any more episodes unless he was around. Still some of the best television I've ever seen.
* It's currently about 5 hours away from "Waters of Mars" in the UK.

So, I caught this interview with author Jake Adelstein last week on NPR, and I thought I'd pass it along. It's around 39 minutes, and it's a fascinating true account about about an American journalist who spent 12 years writing the crime beat for Japan's largest newspaper, and his experiences with organized crime in Japan.

I'm looking to read the book at some point.

So, got to Dickens with the kind help of the splendid artemis_rich, did a quick recon for the kiddo (she was in the Meet and Greet workshop, and it's a lovely thing when your adolescent takes your advice.), convinced her that Songs of the Times would be pleasant (well worth it, because I now have sheet music for "Masters in This Hall," or as I called it before "I've got to learn that 'Noel, Noel, Noel! Noel sing we clear!' song, what's it called!" and also got to tell the workshop leader a story I've been meaning to tell him for seven bleedin' years!*)

Then, lunch and watching the kiddo run herd on several smaller children (in a good way, mind), then, with Lady PEERS' permission (as I haven't taken the prereqs in several years, and have been feeling rusty) Dance III, Lancer's Quadrille and Bohemian National Polka. I did all right at Lancer's considering that I did Lancer's ONCE a decade ago, ONCE at the Sweeney Todd Event in November (partnered by my daughter, who MUST take some of Lady PEERS' workshops, either during this run or pre-ball; the kiddo's got grace and rhythm and a fair amount of technique already, she just needs a few moves, and I am rusty at leading and teaching.) and fairly well at the BNP (considering that I learned it a decade ago as well and did it a few times during the run.).

I am already in a bit better shape from the brisks walks from the Transbay Station to work and back, my stamina feels better already, and considering that I was dancing in Indian beaded slippers that are only slightly more supportive than bare feet (and infinitely slipperier), I kept up. Having several partners, I also had a suspicion confirmed, that some "good" dancers are not particularly spendid leads for people with whom they don't dance regularly. They look good, and they can make their partners look good if said partner is somewhat showy herself and if they frequently dance together. But most of my partners were a pleasure, with strong arms and good telegraphing (for example, gracefully holding out a hand half a second before I was meant to take it, or signaling from the direction of their bodies which way we were meant to turn, and making good eye contact. I WILL be dancing more this Fair, and plan to get in a lot more dancing at the Dickens Reunion Ball. I plan something else, for the first time in, well, ever, IIRC, but that's a surprise. I hope.).

Most of Jeremy's Escort Service had to leave early due to rides and such, but Sammy and I held up the side and helped Kelly whip the Sal's Scum into shape. They've got some good gigs and personalities, and they have to send them out to the people.

I recommend tsgeisel's Gigging Tips for Non-Actors, even if you ARE an actor, with the addition of something that occured to me today. Bring patrons into your gigs. Say "Miss, do you like my new bonnet?" or "Oy, Squire, is that a three? 'E's cheatin' eh?" or "Watch out for that Mr. Scrooge, he's a mean one!" or whatever your character might be thinking or talking about with other characters. The worst thing, the very worst thing that's likely to happen is the blank stare, and you're no worse off than you were before you spoke to the patron. But there's a good chance that they'll attempt to get into the spirit of things and play back, and it'll make their and your day a bit more interesting.

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/uclick/doonesbury/~3/Iy2D3Y6IsvQ/461349

Doonesbury for Sunday, November 15, 2009

http://www.jonathancarroll.com/blog1/2009/11/carrollblog_1115_4.html

The Sum of Man
by Norah Pollard

In autumn,
facing the end of his life,
he moved in with me.
We piled his belongings—
his army-issue boots, knife magazines,
Steely Dan tapes, his grinder, drill press,
sanders, belts and hacksaws—
in a heap all over the living room floor.
For two weeks he walked around the mess.

One night he stood looking down at it all
and said: "The sum total of my existence."
Emptiness in his voice.

Soon after, as if the sum total
needed to be expanded, he began to place
things around in the closets and spaces I'd
cleared for him, and when he'd finished
setting up his workshop in the cellar, he said,
"I should make as many knives as I can,"
and he began to work.

The months plowed on through a cold winter.
In the evenings, we'd share supper, some tale
of family, some laughs, perhaps a walk in the snow.
Then he'd nip back down into the cellar's keep
To saw and grind and polish,
creating his beautiful knives
until he grew too weak to work.
But still he'd slip down to stand at his workbench
and touch his woods
and run his hand over his lathe.

One night he came up from the cellar
and stood in the kitchen's warmth
and, shifting his weight
from one foot to the other, said,
"I love my workshop."
Then he went up to bed.

He's gone now.
It's spring. It's been raining for weeks.
I go down to his shop and stand in the dust
of ground steel and shavings of wood.
I think on how he'd speak of his dying, so
easily, offhandedly, as if it were
a coming anniversary or
an appointment with the moon.
I touch his leather apron, folded for all time,
and his glasses set upon his work gloves.
I take up an unfinished knife and test its heft,
and feel as well the heft of my grief for
this man, this brother I loved,
the whole of him so much greater
than the sum of his existence.

How do I discuss the concept of male privilege without being offensive to men? Many of these discussions degenerate into man-bashing, which tends to annoy the crap out of me. But, even without that, talking about male privilege can sometimes sound as though women are saying that men are coasting, or don't have to work to get where they are. That's not what I mean when I say male privilege, and I believe the term may be alienating the men who might otherwise be listening.

To think of it in another way, if people started talking about Jewish privilege, even if they weren't pointing at me in particular, I would still find it offensive. It would get my defenses up, which is not the way I want the conversation to go.

Is there a better way? Is it the terminology we use? How can we talk about the issue without raising hackles?




Warning: This is not an opening to man-bash. I reserve the right to delete comments that start down that path.

Before I get to anything else I would like to thank our original tribal leaders for doing a fantastic job.

As you may know, they were the ones who selected who was going to be in their tribe over the past few weeks. Each had a different style, but I think they all did the job quite well.

This week, with the topic oriented tribes changes up that. But I wanted to make sure that we took a moment to acknowledge the work, and thought, they they put into it.

***

Obviously, since no tribe has a single "bye" in it this week, all of them are tied for "fewest byes taken". Which means we go to the next element, which is the tribe that finished the quickest.

The voting poll is here: http://community.livejournal.com/therealljidol/270539.html

By sheer lack size alone it's pretty clear which one that was, since the others kept adding more entries up until the last minute.

So the tribe that is immune this week is "Who's that Trip Trapping Over My LJ?".

You will also be given a special extra benefit this week of being able to decide which of the larger tribes you want to join next week. So please email me at clauderainsrm@gmail.com or via LJ to let me know.

Sometimes there is a benefit for picking the road less traveled. Congratulations.

****

There was a drop this week, that I forgot to mention in the voting poll.

agentkatie1013 had to leave us yesterday in order to concentrate on her education. Hopefully she will be poking her head in every once in awhile though.

Unfortunately we also must attend to the business of the "bye outs". These are the folks who used up both of their "free weeks"/byes and have missed a third deadline.

I hope everything is OK with them all and that perhaps we will see them in the future:


diabological
leda_et_al
ewok_626
geordiejihad
monkeysugarmama
unsold_capacity

It's a combination of some old friends and fan favorites and some new folks that we never really had the chance to properly meet.

A few words from clauderainsrm:

Each decision we make takes us to the next page. Closer and closer to the end of the book.

Will you open the door and see what is inside or go back out and wait for the others?

Will you ask the stranger for directions or find your own way on foot?

It's Choose Your Own Adventure Time, and I think it's fair to say that this week there was plenty of "adventure".

Five different topics. Which, as per usual, is how the tribes have been reshuffled.

Some tribes are going to be huge. Others tiny. There is an advantage and disadvantage in each.

But for this week, that is how they look. There is an extra tribe for the "byes" this time around. Just to show how one slip, and one decision, could very well change the change the fate of the season entirely.

One open door. One question asked.

One vote cast.

Maybe that vote is going to be yours.

The bottom vote getter in each tribe (except "the bye week tribe" of course) will be eliminated.

Voting closes Tuesday November 17th at 8 pm EST
Good luck to everyone!

( Click here to Vote! )

• 11:03 Cowbell, @matociquala. It needs more cowbell. #
• 16:06 Rt bellacoker We would turn Jesus back at the border, he fails for both the English speaking and the criminal record. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

Seen via tweet from Teresa Nielsen Hayden:

Soren "Scraps" DeSelby, roadnotes's partner, may be having another stroke. (Something over a year since his last one, and he had been making good progress in recovering.) He's at the hospital.

roadnotes says pray, and pass the word along. So I'm doing that.

As a promotion for its upcoming broadcast of the remake of The Prisoner, starring Jim Caviezel and Sir Ian McKellan, AMC is allowing people to view the entire original series on its website for free.

So yogurtrifle talks to other people on the Internet besides me though I don't see why. Apparently on one of the boards she frequents there's a problem that's banned because of the arguments it causes:

There is a plane on a runway, accelerating to takeoff speed. However, the runway moves backwards in such a fashion that its speed is always exactly the same as the plane's, in the opposite direction. Can the plane ever take off?

I say it should be be "Can a plane on a treadmill ever take off?" which is much simpler to visualize. (I imagine the plane wearing a stretchy terrycloth headband and an iPod.)

The answer strikes me as a very simple and intuitive "no." The velocity vectors cancel precisely, meaning the plane's velocity with respect to the air is zero, and thus no lift can be generated. No work is being done because no distance is being covered.

I'm told there is some physicist wankery about how the engines will eventually move enough air that they're generating a vacuum and thus the plane will lift Bernoulli approximate the plane as a sphere blah blah blah I am a physicist and therefore useless.

Civilian high-bypass turbofans generate most of their pressure differential in the combustor. The only external pressure differential generated by air flow, and thus relevant to possibly generating lift in this scenario, is from the bypass, and bypass air accelerates very little. You'd be even worse off to assume a low-bypass military engine, because they move less air through the bypass. They have a higher net exhaust velocity, but that's because of the thermodynamics within the combustor, not the fan fluid dynamics.

...If they're assuming some kind of unobtanium engine that doesn't experience friction losses and is powered by wishful thinking, they can kiss my ass.

We've acquired a Roku player for streaming Netflix as a complement to our Apple TV (and instead of one of the various game players that I'd never use and I'd be grumpy if mcroft did). It's $129 for the high-end version, but we figure it will amortize over time in terms of the things we're likely to watch on it, since we tend to either be busy and not watch for a while or watch a ton of stuff at once.

Roku's physical box is tiny. It's a bit thicker than our Apple TV but it's smaller in the other two dimensions and its overall size is smaller. Both boxes sit next to each other on top of our DVD player. Our biggest problem with the Roku is that we don't have enough digital inputs into the amp for it and the Apple TV and the DVD player. Either we're going to get a cable splitter or we're going to have to plug something (probably the Roku) into one of the analog audio inputs.

The instant queue for Netflix manages a little differently to the regular queue. It doesn't look like things get pulled from the queue when you watch them, which made no sense until we realized that if you start to watch something, you've "watched" it whether you finish it or not. It doesn't look like you can add to the queue from inside the Roku, so we'll need to keep the instant queue populated.

As far as things we want to watch go, it looks like there aren't a lot of major releases on digital yet. However, there are a fair number of documentaries, which I like and mcroft is meh about, and a crapload of old Dr. Who. We watched The Three Doctors on a whim to test the system last night, and I think we're in love already. We also watched a documentary on Zorro that was interesting but the screen sizing, even on our small digital TV, was bad. It looked like a bad fullscreen Youtube with the digital artifacts. But this morning, we got an email from Netflix asking about the picture quality of the Dr. Who episode, so we know they're trying to improve it.

The Roku also has a beta for MLB that we'll never use and access to the Amazon store. The Amazon store has a terrible UI for the Roku. If we want to buy from them, we'll use a laptop to find whatever we want and dump it in our video queue. We're more likely to use the Apple TV if it's a something we can get from them but not Netflix; Amazon seems to have the same stock. Elegance bigotry says we'll never bother with a two-step process when we can get it in one.

I wish all this could happen on the Apple TV, but I don't expect it to. The Roku isn't as slick, but the Netflix streaming of Dr. Who shows for no additional cost is a huge benefit for us.

Queries: 101
Requests: 1 upper YA
In my inbox: 3 partials

--

Query project. My comments are still in [brackets] . As always, I haven't read these yet. These are my reactions as I read them.

--

#24

Dear Ms. Meadows:

When Sabrina moves to England, she gets more than she bargained for [Watch for cliches, especially in the opening sentence.] when she meets the man who has been appearing to her in her dreams. After she gets over the shock of seeing Isaac outside of her admittedly vivid imagination, she begins to wonder how he’s able to get into her mind in the first place. [This seems a little too tame. If someone I'd been dreaming about suddenly appeared in my waking life, I'd go straight into panic and trying to figure out what was going on. The sentence doesn't reflect that panic.] The shocking answers catapult her into a world where ruthless creatures roam freely alongside unsuspecting humans, and battle lines are clearly drawn. [Neat.]

As they embark on a dangerous and passionate affair, Sabrina realizes that a bitter enemy intent on revenge from Isaac's past will stop at nothing to remove her from Isaac’s arms. Permanently. In order to establish a foreseeable and solid future, it becomes obvious that Sabrina must ultimately deal with a tumultuous past. As she navigates a shadowy world she has never known existed, Sabrina must fight for her newfound love…and her life. [I know personal stakes don't get much bigger, but I feel like something is missing here. Like we're seeing one leg of the plot -- the romantic one -- but not the other. ]

Reclaimed is a romantic suspense manuscript that is complete at 88,000 words. I saw from your blog that I read regularly [Snip "that I read regularly"] that you were interested in romance novels, and I hope you find mine to your liking.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Jennifer McLaughlin
http://jennifermclaughlin.wordpress.com/

--

#25

Dear Jodi,

I was recommended by a friend to contact you as you represent both horror and science fiction. [This is a fake query, so okay. But if it was real, you should name the person who recommended you. Chances are they'd have emailed to let me know ahead of time, but just in case...] I hope that my first novel, tentatively titled Picking Up the Pieces, will be of interest to you. [Don't forget genre and wordcount.]


Matthew Caldey is a brilliant paramedic with a bright future career ahead of him, [Note what I said about cliches in the last query.] until he fails to save his partner’s wife and fellow paramedic, [Whups. And a clarity issue: is the partner's wife a fellow paramedic? Or is the fellow paramedic a different person? It could go either way.] in a traumatic deep space rescue gone horribly wrong. His confidence shaken by this tragic event, Matt returns to the EMS Academy on Earth to teach new recruits, the only job he feels is ‘safe to do’ anymore, vowing never to wear the uniform or go into space again... [Why ellipses?]

Following the death of his wife, Gary McAlliskey [So the story's about both of these guys. Okay.] has gone to McKinley Station, in high orbit of Kelder Prime, to finish work on their joint project: a Deep Space Rescue Cruiser, the first of its kind that will revolutionise deep space rescue. Gary is determined to finish the DSRC as a final tribute to his late wife, even at the expense of his own health and wellbeing, perhaps even that of his family... [What's with the ellipses?]

Still learning to cope with the loss of their mother, fifteen year old Imogen McAlliskey and her two younger siblings are that very family. [And it's them too? Okay, I admit, I was hoping for more space travel and explosions and daring rescues, rather than lots of people dealing with backstory death.] Realising that her father’s feverish attempts to complete his project could well be the last thing he ever does, Imogen calls old family friend Matt Caldey, begging him to visit McKinley to help her desperately try to convince her father that life is for living, not just remembering the dead… [You've now used up your year's supply of ellipses.]

Trainee paramedic Danielle Townend [This is getting longer and longer with a bunch of new characters. This needs to be much shorter. More concise and focused on what the story is about. Daring space rescue? People dealing with death? Choose a couple characters and focus on them, rather than the entire cast.] is approaching graduation from the EMS Academy. Born and raised on the council estates of West Yorkshire by a disinterested addict mother and an absent father, Danni has long awaited to escape her squalid roots and make something of herself. Intrigued by the tales of the exploits of her newest tutor, Matt Caldey, Danni realises her destiny is to go far, farther than she'd ever imagined...

For Matt, Gary, Imogen and Danni, a turning point is fast approaching in their lives. Each has been given a chance to move on from their dark past, into an uncertain future. One wishes to take this chance with both her hands, naively unaware of the consequences. One blindly refuses to forget the losses of his past. One wishes she didn't have to choose. And one is painfully aware that if he refuses to choose, the consequences for all of them could be disastrous. Brought together in deep space, the four of them must work as a team to fight their respective inner demons, and quickly learn that when picking up the pieces of other people's lives, they must first be able to rescue their own. [This is way too long and explainy. We need more about the story, less about the characters' individual journeys. It starts off with some good stuff, but gets off focus quickly.]


In writing, I love the horror, science and alternative fiction genres. I do not like "splatterpunk," but fully believe that blood and gore can be used to good effect. I have worked in a comprehensive school with 11-16 year olds with special educational needs, volunteered for St John Ambulance for thirteen years, and worked as a medic alongside paramedics for five years. [The only part of this that's necessary is that you worked as a medic, which can give your story a sense of authenticity.] I currently work in a large, local DIY store to pay the bills while finally concentrating on my writing. The online Short Story Group helped me sharpen my skills, before moving on to become a moderator with another online writing group, the Literary Den. I was a contributor to, and lead editor for, the LitDen's anthology of members' work in 2008, and am currently reprising this role for 2009. [And only the editor part is necessary out of this.]

Picking Up The Pieces is the first in a series of space-based medical fiction novels, revolving around the characters I have described here. [I think this is very telling. You said you've described the characters. Not the story. While compelling characters will keep me reading something I might otherwise not, I do need to have a sense of the story while I'm reading the query. Which I don't have here.] It is a completed 150,000 word manuscript, which I can forward to you, in whole or in part, should you be interested in reading further.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Sincerely yours,
Andy Walker
http://www.terrierandy7.com

--

#26

Dear Jodi,

Rochelle had never dreamed of the past before, let alone travel into the future. Things like this never entered Rochelle's quiet, lonely life. [The first sentence is strong. This one says the same thing, and not nearly as snappily.] She had grown up in the foster care system because her mother died giving birth to her, and her father and brother had left before she was even born. Now Rochelle is living on her own, and realizes how mundane life really can become. [Same thing with this last sentence. Since you've repeated yourself twice within the first paragraph, I'd worry the manuscript has this problem, too.]

Her life gets turned upside down though, when Michael, a handsome British aristocrat, and his four friends come into the picture. [Same thing about cliches as the other two queries. Life turning upside down. Someone coming into the picture. Both cliches.] She is so intrigued by them, mainly because of the violet eyes they share with her. [Violet eyes (do they wear contacts? Eyes are not naturally violet) aren't a compelling enough reason to be "so intrigued" with someone. Do they do something weird? Do they behave oddly?] Not to mention the connection she shares with Michael. [What kind of connection?] As she gets closer to them, [How do they get closer? Are they thrown into mortal peril together? Do they overcome ancient evils together? (If that doesn't get you close to someone, I don't know what will!) Give short, specific examples. So far this is all really vague.] the more she learns about herself, friendship, and love. But as Rochelle learns of her past will she be able to accept who she really is? [This query is mostly vague. I don't feel like I know anything about the story. The most specific example of anything is people's violet eyes, and that doesn't tell me much.]

Tempus Viator is a 72,000 word work of young adult fantasy fiction. [I can't see the fantasy element in the query. Are they vampires? Selkies? Krakens? You've hidden the fantasy element so completely I can't even guess. (Except from the title. I'd guess something to do with time.)] This is my first novel and I would be happy to send the full manuscript upon your request. Thanks for your time and consideration. The first three pages are below as requested.

Sincerely,
Joy D. Wilson
http://joydwilson.blogspot.com/

--

I've posted this before, but this seems like a good time for a reminder.

Here are the four things your query blurb needs to have.

1. Your protag and their problem
2. What they're going to do about that problem
3. Conflicts that keep them from achieving their goal
4. Stakes: what happens if they don't succeed. (Why the reader should care.)

The story part of your query (not the title/genre/credits) should be about 150-200 words. I tend to set mine up in this three paragraph structure:

1st paragraph: Introduction to the character and their problems. What they're going to do about it. (This paragraph gets the reader invested in the character and his/her story.)

2nd paragraph: Introduces complications and possibly another character. Things get worse. Worldbuilding tidbits are awesome.

3rd paragraph: Big bad or big onoes! is revealed. Big stakes. Character has to make an impossible choice. Reader shouldn't be able to see a way out. Reader should need to read the story to find out what happens.

Now, that's just how I do it, and I don't follow it religiously or anything. The structure is made to be played with. But if you're not sure where to start, hopefully that will help you with a foundation.

--

How to submit: ( Clicky )

On the morning of August 4th, I got a call from my mother to tell me that Kathy Briles had been murdered. Kathy was the wife of my grandmother's doctor. And it hit her hard. She often went to Kathy and Doc's house for dinner. They would often come over to make sure that Grandma didn't need anything. In the 17 years since my grandfather passed away, Doc and Kathy treated Grandma's heart and soul as well as her body. They were family. And someone took a member of that family away.

It took several days for the news to come out. Someone had broken into the Briles home, bound Kathy and beat her to death. Doc was quickly eliminated as a suspect, as he was at his clinic all day. The reports stated that the murder occurred some time between 2pm and when he arrived home at 8 and found her. Some items had been taken, but it hasn't been said what those items are. I don't think it matters, because we already know the most important thing that was taken - Kathy's life.

The police have talked to the neighbors. No one saw anything. They searched the woods around her house. They didn't find anything. The search inside the house brought back some DNA evidence and some fingerprints that they weren't able to eliminate as being from someone who was supposed to be in the house.

A couple months later, someone was arrested for other home invasions in the area. He's still a suspect in Kathy's death, but his fingerprint and DNA evidence don't match what was collected.

As of right now, there's a reward offered for information. $50,000 - money put up by Doc and the family, CrimeStoppers and the Gold Star Club of Manatee County. This reward was put up in mid-to-late October. We're now at mid-November and no one has come forward yet.

I worry that this mystery is one that will never be solved. The longer it goes with no suspects, the harder it will be to find one. It will be an open wound for her family and friends, one that may never close. I know it has effected my grandmother greatly. For the first time in 30 years, she's considering leaving Florida to live back in New York. I'm not sure if it's because she wants to be near her family or away from the tragedy that still breaks her heart. But my mother is looking for an apartment for her in an assisted living facility.

But maybe I'm being too pessimistic. Maybe someone will remember something that will lead to a break in the case. Maybe the police will find something to lead them in the right direction. Maybe the person responsible will get a conscience and come forward. Maybe...

All we can have is hope. It's all any of us can have.

What killed Terra Ceia's Kathleen Briles
One month later, no suspects in slaying of Kathleen Briles
Home invasion suspect's possible ties to Manatee to be reviewed
Reward to be offered in the Briles slaying
Response to Briles reward disappointing